This past week has been a tough one. My beloved cat of nearly 15 years, Daphne du Maurier, who I previously blogged about for this site, had to be put to sleep.
Her crazy long nails that always made noise when she crossed the wood floor, her daily visit to me at 5pm as I sat by my computer, her love of sliced turkey, none of that will happen ever again.
Daphne sadly had late stages of cancer which was completely unbeknownst to me. It was actually coming to the surface of her skin; something I had no idea was happening since I physically had a very hard time holding her. There was actually dozens of lumps all over her, but since I rarely held her, had no clue. The vet was in shock, and a huge feeling of guilt over all of this has been lingering in my mind since last week.
The saddest part though is losing a friend after 15 years. Daphne and I spent every day together, but when the day came where she could no longer jump onto the bed, we knew it was time to do what was necessary, and everything happened so quick. Five days before she was put to sleep, I had just noticed the missing fur under her armpits (where the cancer was surfacing), and then last Monday, a visit to the vet, and it was the end of the line.
Since I live alone, it has been very quiet in my place since she’s been gone. We spent so much time together that she and I were BFFs who completely understood each others quirks. Even when she drove me crazy I still loved her, and you know what I’m talking about too – fur balls everywhere, throwing up, everything that comes along with having a cat.
My wheelchair in her eyes was nothing but an accessory too, like a really good belt, which I loved. Animals and I have always gotten along really well, which explains why I’ve been so sad about my cat no longer being here. I know it was her time to go, but it just feels like we rushed it.
I hate putting animals to sleep. I’m pretty sure everybody goes through this, well accept for the heartless souls of the world that is. All I want is to know is that she’s in a better place. If I can know that, then I can move onto the next phase of my life contentedly.
Have you had to put an animal to sleep after 10+ years of them living with you?