Confessions of a Disabled Adult Candy Addict

candyI’m honestly not sure whether or not I would have been a candy addict had my injury not occurred. It’s really tough to say.

I was obsessed with sugar as a kid – birthday cakes, great-grandma’s chocolate chip cookies, gummi worms, Sprees, Skor bars – but we all know our childhood “likes” don’t always carry over into our adulthood (I liked what?!). I’m still shocked I liked jam on my garlic bread.

I just wish I knew if my injury had something to do with my continued sugar addiction.

I do know one thing – no matter the cause, I am too old to be this way. Usually by my age the obsession with candy is long gone, but for me…not even close. Part of me is concerned why I am like this, trying to analyze how this developed, but then I always get sidelined by something more important (candy usually).

While most 34 year olds are elated over a great cup of coffee or a perfectly done steak, I will squee to kingdom come if a candy buffet appears at a party; that’s how serious my addiction is. It’s like it activates a happy serum in my brain, pouring in the second my eyes lay upon the sweets. It’s really quite ridiculous. I get like Pavlov’s dog over a Snicker’s.

It’s gotten so bad that I always have to have candy in the house, and any new man I’m dating always knows I like candy right away and will woo me with it (always a safe bet). And even worse, my candy bowl always has a spoon in to to make it easy to shove candy right into my mouth (this technique is quite effective if you’re a low quad, and it’s great for candies like M&M’s and Reese’s Pieces).

I do have one theory I’d like to share about my candy addiction in relation to my injury – whatever age your injury occurs, you’re always that age partly for the rest of your life, no matter how old you get. It’s a strange notion I’ve realized, but I believe it’s a coping mechanism for the brain. Maybe this is why I love candy so much.

I was injured at 14 and I still like so many of the things I liked at that age, food/candy x infinity and music/SWV, EnVouge. It feels strange sometimes, but it’s also very comforting. If my guy I’m testing for example can’t find me a package of Bubblicious bubble gum in grape flavor, I may just have serious doubts about our future. And if he’s not a “big candy fan,” I’m absolutely sure; we aren’t a match.

The palette is the last reason I know I’m obsessed with candy. The palette is one of the few parts of my body that was never affected by my spinal cord injury, so this is a fun thing to relish in. I absolutely love that everything still tastes the same as before my injury, and in the world of spinal cord injuries, anything “staying the same” is a very rare thing.

The candy aisle at Target checking with the seasonal candy and the latest items offered by the candy companies; those my two ultimate happy places. And even moreso, I’m not changing who I am no matter how old I get, especially since it’s so effective on the days I’d like to tell my disability to shove it (hey at least I know what works).

Which candy could you not live without? And where have all the bulk candy stores gone?

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