Category Archives: Match.com

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Randy Blades of the Western District said the driver of the stolen car went past a stop sign on Westwood Avenue and “pulled right out in front of him. Constitution Hill provides travelers with a mix of old and new Jo’burg Fans hoisted their beloved No. Moreno

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Online Dating: When to Disclose Your Disability

Since I became single recently, I’ve been thinking of trying online dating again.  But finding a mate online when you have a disability can be rather tricky. There’s always the big question when filling out your profile – do I or don’t I say I have a disability?

I always thought I knew the answer to this question.  Back in my early days of online dating, I always mentioned that I had a disability; usually in the first paragraph to get it out of the way.  I did this because I learned the lesson of rejection based on withholding the fact that I was disabled the hard way.  And boy did it hurt.

When I was 17, the first guy I talked to online was from somewhere in Europe, and I never told him I used a wheelchair.  When I finally told him, which was about five months into our online relationship, he was so shocked that he never talked to me again.  Needless to say I still have a bit of PTSD from this rejection.  Ever since that day, I made sure to always tell every guy I talked to that I was a wheelchair-user.

But now several years later I find I’m changing my tune.  Match.com has been good to me before, so back I go. And after watching Push Girls, the reality show on the Sundance channel profiling four fabulous woman who use wheelchairs in L.A, I found that not every girl who uses a wheelchair discloses her disability in her dating profile.

What they do is write out an ad minus the fact that they’re disabled, then when they first talk with someone they mention it then.  The reason they do this – they feel if they say they’re disabled in their profile, they may attract the wrong type of guy.  And I Gotta say, it’s a legitimate concern.

The very first guy I was intimate with who I met online was a secret fetishist of women who used wheelchairs.  He looked online for women who were disabled.  So when he found my profile, I was easy bait.  I had no idea these guys existed at that time, so when I eventually found out who he really was, it was a really tough blow.

At the end of the day though, I’m not quite sure if there’s a right or wrong answer.  It’s really up to your personal comfort level and what you’re OK with sharing online, and the risk that may entail.

Online dating is a fabulous thing.  It’s helped form millions of loving relationships.  Just don’t think you have to say everything in your profile.  Tell them soon enough, but just because you have a disability doesn’t mean you have to be a completely open book.

What do you feel is the right thing to do? Disclose or not disclose in a profile?

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